The holy books of Hippoism
Hippoists, Ahippoists and Hipponostics
- Hippoists: those who believe in The Pink Hippo, accept The Holy Book of The Pink Hippo and follow the teachings of The Messenger as written in The Revealed Truth.
- Ahippoists: those who reject The Pink Hippo and who will spend eternity in boiling lard.
- Hipponostics: those who think that the existence of The Pink Hippo can be neither proved nor disproved.
Proof of the existence of The Pink Hippo
- Everything has a cause so something or someone must have created the Universe.
- Other religions believe that a god created the Universe (*)
- That leaves the obvious question: "what created god?"
- The answer is simple: the Universe and all gods were created by The Pink Hippo.
- Some people ask: "who created The Pink Hippo?" This is meaningless because The Pink Hippo was without cause, was then, is now, and shall be ever more.
- She is pink, She is proud, She is jealous, She is vengeful - bow now in fear of The Pink Hippo.
* apart from atheists and ahippoists who simply say "we don't know" or believe that the Universe has always existed (in one form or another) and that matter can be neither created nor destroyed - it merely changes form over time. Such people will rot forever in boiling lard.
A challenge to atheists
Many ahippoists and atheists feel that science and evolution pose a threat to religious beliefs.
They could not be more wrong - we welcome and support much of the work of scientists such as Richard Dawkins.
Please click here to see how Hippoism embraces both science and evolution and considers neither to be any barrier to our religion.
The Hippoist blessing
To be said while standing on one leg, with nose in the air and arms positioned as in the image of The Pink Hippo:
"May The Pink Hippo bless you and may the grass grow long and damp to ease your path through life."
The Churches of The Pink Hippo
Please click here for full details of:
- The differences between the Literalist and Interpretist Churches of The Pink Hippo.
- The structure and hierarchy of the Churches.
- Psychological profiles of the members of each Church.
Both Churches of The Pink Hippo are run on a franchise basis.
Please click here for details of our franchise opportunities if you have a lump sum to invest, you are willing to work really hard on one day a week and you want to become extremely wealthy.
What we totally reject
We totally reject the contents of this book and may the author rot foreever in boiling lard.