The parables of The Messenger of The Pink Hippo

The Messenger of The Pink Hippo shall be forever without name.

The people were simple minded and unable to understand logic and reason so The Messenger of The Pink Hippo went forth into the world and taught in the form of stories.

The initial question facing Hippoist scholars

Why are the preachings of The Messenger apparently so different from those in "The Holy Book of The Pink Hippo"?

This question has engaged the minds of Hippoist scholars for over 600 years.

The generally accepted answer is that the words of The Pink Hippo were revealed to The Messenger while he and the Followers travelled around Derbyshire feasting on the unique species of mushrooms that grew in the area as a result of the dramatic climate changes during the 14th century.

It would seem that The Messenger and the Followers lived "in common" and shared all their goods, including women, during the 5 years before The Messenger ascended to join The Pink Hippo.

Living in such close proximity to others meant that The Messenger may have interpreted the words of The Pink Hippo in such a way as to create peace and harmony amongst the group.

The sermon on Hardley Hill - "the hardlitudes"

In 1378 The Messenger preached his most famous sermon on the small mound called Hardley Hill about half way between the villages of Trusley and Sutton on the Hill. Such mounds often contained Marl which was used to make bricks for the houses of the better off in the local villages. The remains of these mounds, and the digging that took place in the 14th century, can still be seen today.

The sermon was written down by William and Arthur after their evening meal on the same day. We do not have their original documents and what follows is a summary of the key points as passed on by word of mouth in local pubs at the time.

  1. Cause no harm to be done to others and defend others against harm.
  2. Treat all creatures of The Pink Hippo, human and non-human, with care and sympathy.
  3. See the world as others see it and allow others the freedom of their beliefs - just as you enjoy the freedom of your own.
  4. Look after your friends in the same way you would like them to look after you.
  5. Share everything you have with your friends so that there can be no jealousy between you.
  6. Look after strangers because one day you may be a stranger in a strange land.
  7. Help those who are less well-off than yourself because The Pink Hippo looks on all Her creatures as equals.
  8. Help those whose illness of body or mind makes them unable to find their own way in life.
  9. The Pink Hippo created the land of the Earth for the benefit of all and it shall be held in common for the benefit of all generations.
  10. Seek not riches for greed is evil and you should use your wealth to fulfil your social responsibilities.
  11. You shall not sit alongside The Pink Hippo in heaven if you accumulate wealth by exploited others by way of their labour or rent.
  12. It is as easy for a rich man to sit alongside The Pink Hippo as it is for an elephant to pass through a cat flap.
  13. The wealth and riches of one generation shall not pass unto the next for each generation shall seek its own way in life.
  14. Educate your children in an open and free-thinking manner so that they may make up their own minds about the issues of the world.
  15. Be patient with those of other religions because their path lies close alongside the true path to The Pink Hippo.
  16. Tolerate not those who speak evil of others or seek to set one man against another or one group in domination over another.
  17. The punishment for transgressing the rules of society shall be a period dedicated to good works for the benefit of all.
  18. Fly Agaric, Amanita muscaria, shall be a protected species, for, taken in moderation, it opens the eyes to Universal Truth.

It is worth noting that these ideas were a significant factor in the outbreak of The Peasants' Revolt in 1381 - after which the Followers of The Messenger were persecuted by the land-owning classes as they took revenge for the failed rebellion.

It has always been considered a great lose to humanity that The Messenger was unable to leave Derbyshire to attend the meeting between the king and the rebels at Blackheath in 1381. William and Arthur record that The Messenger was "on a higher plane communing with the Pink Hippo" for a considerable period following the discovery of a particularly fine crop of mushrooms near the village of Church Broughton. Instead it was left to Watt Tyler, the brother of one of The Followers, to speak on behalf of the peasants - and to die at the hand of the Mayor of London just as the king was preparing to give in to the demands of the peasants.

The story of creation (primary school age)

This is recommended for reading out loud at bedtime, at school assembly or in RE lessons.

Once upon a time ....

Oops - we can't start there for two simple reasons. Firstly, our story starts before time started. Oh dear, this is getting complicated; how can it start "before" time started unless time had already started? You can't have a "before" or a "now" or an "after" unless you already have time. Let's leave the first reason for a moment because the second reason is much simpler. "Once upon a time" sounds like the start of a fairy story, and this is certainly not a fairy story (though a lot of people might think it is.)

Well, whatever the reason, we will try starting with something else.

In the beginning ....

Oh dear, here we go again. Can we really say "in the beginning" without also asking "what about before the beginning?" So, we are back to time again.

This story is never going to start. We will make one final attempt to get going or this is will be a very short story!

There was, is and always will be, something without beginning and without end.

There, we managed a whole sentence without getting stuck.

Now we can dive in at the deep end - that "something" was, is and always will be, The Pink Hippo.

The Pink Hippo is timeless because She never had a beginning, She is around now and She will be around forever. For a very long time She was the only thing that existed, and maybe She will be the only thing that remains if and when the Universe comes to an end.

It would be nice to say that The Pink Hippo woke up one morning and decided to create the Universe. The only trouble is, there were no mornings for Her to wake up to - and, since She is everlasting, She never needs to go to sleep.

Anyway, the "when" does not really matter because at some point She simply decided to create the Universe - and She did. Everything popped into existence in a split second. The galaxies we can see in the sky appeared from nowhere, the black holes that absorb light appeared and promptly disappeared, the stars in the galaxies suddenly lit up and the planets around some of those stars began their orbits.

On some of the planets, just like the Earth, all the rocks and hills and mountains and fields and deserts and streams and rivers and lakes and seas sprang into existence. All the tiny particles inside atoms, and the atoms inside molecules and the molecules inside everything else - appeared at that same instant.

The Pink Hippo was particularly clever because She also created fossils inside the rocks She placed on Earth - this explains why you can find fossils of sea shells right at the top of Mount Everest!

The Pink Hippo also created life. She created simple creatures like amoeba and plankton and germs and viruses and bacteria, and all the higher creatures such as insects, reptiles, fish, birds and mammals. Each of them appeared, perfectly formed, in that tiny fraction of a second when The Pink Hippo created everything.

To put the icing on the cake of everything She had created, The Pink Hippo also created humanity - an animal with consciousness and language. She created people of every sort, of every race, of every colour. She created males and females and young and old. The Earth was populated with all the races we know today - all ready to go about their daily business.

It is amazing to understand that from absolutely nothing, The Pink Hippo created everything we can see, hear, smell, touch, feel or know about - in an instant - with a single flick of Her fingers. Actually She doesn't have fingers but you know what we mean.

Then, having created everything in an instant, The Pink Hippo said "Go!" Well, She didn't really say "Go" because we are not sure what language She speaks and She certainly did not say it in all the different languages spoken by all the peoples She had created on all the planets that supported intelligent conscious life. What really happened was the same as a traffic light turning green - everything sprang into action and the Universe began to go about its business - just as we see it all around us today.

You have to agree that this is clever stuff! The Pink Hippo is some smart person! Sorry, we keep saying "she" and things like that but in fact The Pink Hippo has no sex, she (or he) is an "it".

The first parable: the man and his wife

This section is currently undergoing re-interpretation by Hippoist Scholars - we hope to have it available as soon as possible.

The second parable: the woman and the cow

This section is currently undergoing re-interpretation by Hippoist Scholars - we hope to have it available as soon as possible.

The third parable: the passer by and the stranger

This section is currently undergoing re-interpretation by Hippoist Scholars - we hope to have it available as soon as possible.