Welcome to Hippoism

Stating the obvious

It is self-evidently true that:

  • All things must have a beginning and cause
  • All things are created by something.
  • The Universe must have had a beginning and cause.
  • Evolution is just a theory not a fact.
  • Nothing happens by accident.
  • Something must have designed and created the Universe.
  • The variety and complexity of animal and plant life means that there must have been an intelligent designer.

So:

  • The Pink Hippo is the designer and creator of the Universe and everything within it.
  • "The Holy Book of The Pink Hippo" provides irrefutable written evidence that the Universe was created 6,047 years ago, in October, on a Tuesday, just before tea time.
  • The Universe, in all its complexity, came into being at that time - instantly.
  • On Earth, geological formations and layers were created instantly.
  • On Earth, fossils and archeological sites were created instantly.

We don't need logic, rational thought or science to know that the Universe was designed by The Pink Hippo - it is a self-evident Truth.

The fundamental truth of Hippoism

The Pink Hippo created the Universe:

  • 6047 years ago,
  • in October,
  • on a Tuesday,
  • just before tea time.

Click here for a free (yes, FREE!) Pink Hippo badge.

Click here if you are religious.

The holy books of Hippoism

Hippoists, Ahippoists and Hipponostics

  • Hippoists: those who believe in The Pink Hippo, accept The Holy Book of The Pink Hippo and follow the teachings of The Messenger as written in The Revealed Truth.
  • Ahippoists: those who reject The Pink Hippo and who will spend eternity in boiling lard.
  • Hipponostics: those who think that the existence of The Pink Hippo can be neither proved nor disproved.

Proof of the existence of The Pink Hippo

  • Everything has a cause so something or someone must have created the Universe.
  • Other religions believe that a god created the Universe (*)
  • That leaves the obvious question: "what created god?"
  • The answer is simple: the Universe and all gods were created by The Pink Hippo.
  • Some people ask: "who created The Pink Hippo?" This is meaningless because The Pink Hippo was without cause, was then, is now, and shall be ever more.
  • She is pink, She is proud, She is jealous, She is vengeful - bow now in fear of The Pink Hippo.

* apart from atheists and ahippoists who simply say "we don't know" or believe that the Universe has always existed (in one form or another) and that matter can be neither created nor destroyed - it merely changes form over time. Such people will rot forever in boiling lard.

A challenge to atheists

Many ahippoists and atheists feel that science and evolution pose a threat to religious beliefs.

They could not be more wrong - we welcome and support much of the work of scientists such as Richard Dawkins.

Please click here to see how Hippoism embraces both science and evolution and considers neither to be any barrier to our religion.

The Hippoist blessing

"May The Pink Hippo bless you and may the grass grow long and damp to ease your path through life."

To be said while standing on one leg, with nose in the air and arms positioned as in the image of The Pink Hippo:

The Churches of The Pink Hippo

Please click here for full details of:

  • The differences between the Literalist and Interpretist Churches of The Pink Hippo.
  • The structure and hierarchy of the Churches.
  • Psychological profiles of the members of each Church.

Franchise opportunities

Both Churches of The Pink Hippo are run on a franchise basis.

Please click here for details of our franchise opportunities if you have a lump sum to invest, you are willing to work really hard on one day a week and you want to become extremely wealthy.

What we totally reject

We totally reject the contents of this book and may the author rot forever in boiling lard.

Fail to believe in The Pink Hippo and the boiling lard awaits!